A Random Blog Post from a Random guy.

Just going to give some money to a friend via Paypal, or at least if my account doesn't get Suspended for no reason, "cough cough" without an explanation. I mean it's not like you can't communicate to anyone when you have a problem.... Their as easy to get hold of as Facebook. And as secure I am sure. It's good to know our money is in safe hands. So why do I put money in Paypal again? Oh yeah, have you seen the alternatives? I'm hoping to buy Dragonball Z Ultimate Tenkaichi for Xbox 360 or Playstation 3 (and both eventually but obviously not at first, that's too expensive but I'm hoping to get a deal on Ebay maybe) soon. So that will be fun to play, have you played it? Certainly beats Coronation street you say. Now come on. That's just rude, while there's nothing I hate more than the Royal Mail and Paypal, there's no need to be like that. We have lots of decent television in Britain. Now on to true stuff... Why do we not have a Dedicated Anime or video game channel but more importantly the Anime one, or absence of it. Why do they come and then dissapear the next day? Anime is so popular and here it is as well! If no one creates an Anime channel I'd create one myself if I could afford to...although not just because it has "Channel" in it but Youtube is sort of a platform for showing your interests and creating your own channel. So we can make our own Anime channels right there! ... Until our videos get taken down and our accounts suspended. Time to boycott Youtube? And head over to my website haha.

Today was Christmas, and got lots of lovely presents from Mum, Dad, Chelsey, Ben, James, Daniel (Matthew was away on a top secret mission....) And Yoshimitsu gave me something (well ok his a video game character but still)

 Anime and Manga

Hi. I know I keep adding things and try to keep up with them all but I thought this was a really great addition. To review and/or discuss anime and manga, my favourites, your favourites and ones new to us as well. So please submit anything you want or any comment you have etc. First will be Gantz and it's an interesting one. Keep a lookout for my post on it.

Thankyou

Barry.

Hi. I wanted to show you some great freebies I found and to remind you, you all can find them as well. I only ever do completely free ones-no catch's. I can't remember all the websites at the moment but one is www.magic-freebies.co.uk and www.freesamples.co.uk which I think is the best. Make sure you read any terms and conditions and check they aren't trying to sign you up to anything! But in a month I have got a free toothbrush, free sample of Oral-B Toothpaste (I think it's their newest one, so guess to promote it which is normally reason for freebies but not always) and some free FairTrade Tea. Lovely! There are also the kind where say a chocolate company as an example, will give away 300 bars of chocolate to the first 300 people to enter. I find these very hard as even when I've just got the email they seem to of run out already...so if you see them be warned you will need to be super quick and visit the website straight away! Of course it is worth it though if you get a free bar of chocolate.

There are many mysteries in life. Does God exist? Why were Potato's made? (the latter could perhaps be answered if the first was) And while for many they do actually know the answer to all those questions, there is one which I am sure remains unanswered for all.

Who is Irene?  

visit Chelseychannel.blogspot.com for clues....

Now we all are familiar with the Spanking crisis which has crippled the world and threatens to again. I heard Mervyn king, the Bank of England Manager (Who knows what he does) is keen to get to the bottom of things.

(looks again at previous typing)

No No. Come on! Stop it. Stop being so rude. How dare you rude people turn my innocent blog so dodgy. Stop turning my spelling mistakes into rude things. Now as I was saying, until your laughter interrupted me, David Cameron and George Osbourne have both revealed measures to see how thick we are. I mean.., how thick we are in it. William hague has also been elected president of the world. . . .  Ok! Fine. I made that bit up. When did you all get so serious? But many are doubting if The Tories... oops I mean tories and Liberals, are making the right decisions. Well why not have a referendum on it? David cameron recently appeared on Itv This morning, as I am sure everyone saw as it's the only decent programme on ITV. (look I can't talk if you keep yelling so loudly!) He got quite a grilling by Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby. And he got the odd Potato thrown at his head as well. Phil Vickery...... I knew you weren't really making a Potato free dessert when you came round to my garden last week.. The clue was in "Potato free". Now we all know the banking system and economies are complicated systems. It must take one bank a month to sort out two mortgages for every MP (one for each of their houses). But I don't get why Gordon brown gets credited with single handedly causing Britains recession, apart from being absurd, even i know it's such a delicate system and surely other countries contributed to our demise, perhaps as we might of to them, but it's also an incredible achievment especially as these statements are made from people trying to claim Gordon brown is so useless. Then why on Earth do you credit him for managing to bring down our Economy overnight? Or perhaps they refer to his time as Chancellor, a post which I applied for, but sadly my dreams very rarely finish on a high note. But now I am learning Guitar I am in control of the notes. Although I did have a good dream after about Aunt Bessie's Potato's. She was cooking me some and I informed her how disgusting and unripe (I know it doesn't make sense but I needed another word that didn't sound too rude.. )  they were and she didn't cry, which is a fear I always had if I was to tell her the truth. I liked her better when she worked at Cadbury's. Good old fashioned American chocolate.

.... Look. Whatever your reason for booing was, there was no need to lob a conservative manifesto at my head! Their heavy you know...... Such a shame no-one has managed to give them any real weight..

Now how did we get onto politics. This is what my brain is like everyday, on one subject one second and another the next. Except there is one subject that is often on my mind. Yes the spanking crisis. No actually not that. But rather, the Euro crisis. DEN DEN DEN!! To be continued....

Well probably not, but at least you'll come back believing it will be....

Barry Stuart.

Bazza's Spoof blog (occassionally features non spoof, serious articles, thoughts, messages etc)

Welcome to my world. It's all your fault. Be proud,

Now obviously I genuinely love anything I get brought for Christmas, but people sometimes like me to write them a list of things. Mine reads: Chocolate. Melted Chocolate. Edible Chocolate (rare in warm weather) Chocolate. Marzipan. Breastfeeding Tips by Myleenee Klass, and a hug from Mavis. If your wondering who Mavis is... Well that's because she doesn't exist. (Sorry to anyone with the name Mavis, I don't mean to deny your existence)

And while not a single one of those items featured on my list...imagine how great life would be if they had! Which brings me to a serious point. Give a great and free gift this Christmas. Give a hug to someone. And for those you can't reach, those you know who will be having a lonely christmas and those you don't know about, remember to give to a Charity to help them out.

Signing out for now (probably be back in a few seconds with another post)

Bazza (only on Thursdays)

         Struggling to keep it together? No-one understanding you? It's a very delicate subject that          needs to be discussed completely right. Chat in confidence about depression and anything else. And meet others suffering to.

Barry Stuart. Barry Stuart Project: FF.

Note: This is one of my serious articles obviously, a joke about depression isn't funny. As of 18/07/2012 I am still setting up the group on my forum and wix site.

Recently I have been playing Castlevania Legacy of Darkness for Nintendo 64 and have now downloaded the first one for N64, which actually takes place after the second one. Both versions are great additions to the fantastic Castlevania franchise and are worth buying or downloading, or really if your a big fan, both! Haha. Take a look, go on. If you like good games, with good story telling, you'll love them. If you have already played a Castlevania game, then I am pretty sure you will love these ones, from back in the past, but they certainly shouldn't stay there and a lot of games and developers would learn a lot from looking at these games.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjeNyYpOtUg


What can I say.. For pure entertainment (and amazement at how well they lip sync and how synchronised they are) and 100% cuteness and adorableness (if not a word it is now). I think their twins.... Just saying!

 It is with sadness and a heavy heart that I report the left honourable Megatron hague has been sacked from his post as "Chief money waster" and "Lets make our defences weak defence secretary". While we knew David cameron was clearing out his cupboard...sorry cabinet, we never expected such drastic changes, especially to a friend he recently went on a seaside holiday with, which I am referring to right now even though that is in another continuity and another post I did. But continuites can change with the weather. It's the only excuse bosses at Eastenders haven't used yet but I better not give them ideas. Who knows, they may use it to bring back Johnny allen or Dirty Den. While their characters may of been good, in reality Leslie Grantham was up to no good. (Guess that's why he seemed right for the part) But Eastenders is used to being involved in scandal. If you watch an episode, I dare anyone to condone the appaling acting a few million viewers who are unable to change the channel and have remote control issues (battery related I suspect, invest in rechargable) have to be subjected to. Nooo. Nooo. Come on. That's rude. Eastenders has great actors and actresses. Not that I watch Eastenders really, (wonder why, everytime the theme tune starts of I fall of my chair. One day I shouted up to my sister and said, "That Firework came close". She replied, "No. We just turned on Eastenders". A soap which even on the quietest of volume settings seems capable of crumbling mountains. Or is that strength reserved for Bianca's, "RICKY") but the decision to have a cancer storyline (involving Tanya if you haven't seen it) and also I suspect to raise awareness for it at the same time is great. Not just because I know a few people suffering from cancer, it would be good even if I didn't. I suspect at some point they will display a contact number at the end of an episode for people in similar situations. Also Yusef (I hope I spelled his name correctly) is quite an interesting character, especially as I was quite bored of Zainab and Masood's storylines, or what seemed a lack of them to me but perhaps they were downplaying their characters to focus on others for a bit. Yusef is a doctor. But I don't see him as a doctor of medicine. Oh no, he is a doctor of the mind. He is a corrupt psychologist who uses his knowledge (you don't have to train as a psychologist to understand everything they do, I thought i'd say, I'm evidence of that and a good psychologist will say the same) of mind matters to manipulate people and so on, especially to confuse poor Zainab, and while people might be frustrated at Zainab's "stupidity", she isn't stupid and I would like you to ask yourself, if you were her, could you honestly see what was being done to you behind the scenes. Would you honestly detect every little hint by Yusef, every remark that all goes to his big plan that I'm still not quite sure what it is or perhaps even he doesn't or maybe his goal has changed along the way. But he is a lot like me I imagine. Fascinated by the mind, able to get people to say what I want them to everyday, play clever mind tricks and so much more that people wouldn't begin to comprehend unless you told them and explained. Except this is where the differences come in. Perhaps at one point Yusef would of done good, or he might believe he still is (as I don't believe any person does something completely believing it to be evil, or perhaps that's just me refusing to see bad in people even though I see it everyday) but he now has a sinister agenda. And I worry a sinster approach to carrying out these things. But I use my knowledge to help people. Wether it's something incredibly simple like purposely bringing up conversations about something somebody likes to cheer them up, or noticing somebody struggling to get their thoughts in a conversation so mentioning something which will stop the other person in their tracks or an often used tactic I do is give them something big to "chew on" and while they think over that, the other person gets to speak, or all the other tricks people like me use to help people everyday yet they never have a clue, not even in the non psychological ways we help them. But that doesn't matter, we don't do it for reward. We do it to learn more and also because we love to help. But it's not easy. My friends know I survey a conversation often and decide when to speak or wether to speak at all. People might say things that are wrong and if serious I would correct them if I believe I was right, but I limit myself (not because I'm so right all the time, I can be but so many things I don't have a clue about and have to trust in other people). As one example, if I or you, kept correcting people when will they learn for themselves? Well yes, they can learn from us teaching them and we should carry on doing so, but I feel times where wether they are wrong or right, we should let them speak and essentially let them be wrong and realise their mistakes. There are many other reasons as well for not speaking and many for speaking. (check my psychology blog) But I wonder if Yusef has spoken too much and it is time for someone else to, maybe Zainab, without the influence of her former Husband who plays people against other people, not far of from what I do. Except in his vision I believe there may be only him left standing, wether originally intended or not. Whereas in mine, it ends with the same amount of people I started with, plus extras who through my studies of humans and behaviours, I have hopefully brung together.

Psychology can seem a dangerous game. Judge reasoning, never the act. Put to good use, every single problem humans ever faced could be wiped out. If you believed.

Barry.

08/12/2011 Update. Yusef is playing Chess I guess. But what if it's checkmate for him? If he keeps using (Amira, Syed etc) his Chess pieces like this and sacrficing them, what will he have left to use? And what is to stop someone like Masood for example, coming in and Checking him in one move?

Aha! I think I have finally corrected the time zone issues.

Ok that never worked... That merely seemed to add my Location "London" at the bottom of my post...the quest continues...

Well that was erm interesting. Right after I submitted my last post I noticed at the side of one is a button with your location and mine was at United States, probably the default. I changed to london and blogger announced google wanted to "track" my physical location (why did I say yes?) and hopefully it will now state the correct time for posts. If this has a different time to my previous post then it would of worked, here goes.

Now it might be because Google is run by our American cousins (yes i'm told were not allowed to date Americans...) but you may or may not of noticed it says when I submitted each blog post. But this time is wrong. I'm not sure if there is somewhere to change it or I would of thought google would detect my location but I think it states American time. Example, my last post it said was posted at 6:30 or something if memory serves and I didn't write anything at 6pm or 6am. So I just wanted to let you know unless I can fix this (if you know how please do tell) all times stated or wrong and as I think American time is behind GMT, I would of actually posted it a few hours after its states. Although if your viewing in America would it be correct for you? I think so....

Well sorry for not being on for sometime. I will be putting part 4 up soon as promised. Maybe I shall watch some Transformers Prime for inspiration. Did you hear.... series 2 has been pushed back until 2012? Well it will be great when it does come though. I have some ideas for season 2 and it will be great to see how wrong and/or right I am about things. I do hope Starscream reappears, I am pretty confident he will do. Now I'm off to contemplate and restart my quest for a wife. And while only one of them may be true, I'll leave it up to you to decide which.  In the meantime I am sure Chelsey will be "tuning 14 year olds"... as it says on her blog, whatever that phrase means. (www.chelseychannel.blogspot.com) Oh ok, it is a spelling mistake, she meant "turning 14 years old" at her most recent birthday... obviously. From the randomness and sense of humour among other things, you can see as plainly as Tesco refuse to put salt in their salt and shake, that we are related.

Goodbye for now.

For all religious folks, (and non, people who aren't religious can still have beliefs, more so even sometimes.) God bless.

For all non believers. Peace to all.

And universally for all no matter their politics, thinking, idealogies and so forth.

Take care. And may you have a happy Christmas.

(on that theme, I may do some christmas themed spoofs, jokes etc, if you would like to submit anything please do.)

Hey third time for a "Me again" (See previous posts for explanation, well actually they may appear LATER to you but in the order I have gone through them they are previous). I  know there are two sentences here but I will post this for now and hopefully finish it later...

I do believe this was intended to be part three or whatever number the final part was for my story. Ultimately Optimus prime strolls into a court and saves the day.

Car rolls up to David's house.

Megatron: You better get to your wife and children.

Hello and Welcome to Optimus Prime's Breastfeeding Tips. (Archive now!) Brought to you by...

Megacell. Bringing you Megatons of power in your batteries.

Now I was reading a blog the other day and was shocked by a post I saw that reminded me just how much of a stigma there still is against Breastfeeding Doormice. Why? Why I ask? This is 2012. We all do it. Breastfeeding is a natural act that mothers and fathers alike get a great feel of pride and emotion from doing so and is what makes life complete. As the famous Magician Jeffrey Archer once said, "None have lived, until they have breastfed. It is more liberating then conning a national newspaper". I agree with him, well except from the last bit. I get a magnificent sense of joy and I see absolutely no reason to even to attempt to stop Doormice from looking after their young and themselves in the same way. I find it an absolute disgrace that Nicolas Sarkosy is pushing for a ban on Breastfeeding Doormice, Breastfeeding in public, why is it only this breed and not other breeds he has a problem with? ...I will keep you updated. In the next issue I give tips to help mothers to be...

 December 1st the New Transformers Prime toys are released in the U.K. They all look great, my favourite is StarScream. The above picture is the toy and below is how he looks in the Transformers Prime T.V. Series so you can see how well they resemble each other.  Thankyou for reading,

Barry  

A New quote for today, Sunday. This one wasn't made up by me.

"Before Glory, comes Humility".

-Unknown.

If you know who said it, please email me and If you know if it appeared in another language originally as well. Thankyou. Email barrystu@hotmail.com

                McAfee- The Bane of my life


"Nuff said"

 Starscream's Biased quiz's. Coming soon....................

New quote of the day-

"Enjoy today. There may not be a tomorrow."  Alternate version also said by me, "Enjoy today. Why assume there is a tomorrow?"

-Barry Stuart

 A New quote of the day, from me again although others might well of said it in many ways,

 "It matters not your age, but your level of maturity".

Barry Stuart

                                                  Cybertron News


Now 20 pence Decadely
(Turns out we can't afford to lower the price, only increase it)






A first for us. The weekly feature of Updated list of entities banned from having pets is for today front page news, In a shocking piece of news, Tony Blair has been banned from having pets. The news was also featured on BBC News and obviously viewers waited anxiously for it to appear on another piece of media to see wether it was true or not. We are now picking up the story to confirm it's authenticity. We found out about this story by watching BBC News...... A Reporter tells us (Speaking through a T.V.) that Tony Blair was allegedly trying to convince his cat that it could fly. The RSPCA were shocked but Tony Blair insisted; "I never meant it so he would end up in a dangerous situation, I was trying to tell him it was time he flew the nest but I've been stitched up and my words twisted." The case continues......

The hunt for Megatron continues. There was a reporting of a figure in a KFC but it turned out to be former Bank of England Manager Gordon Brown.

If you see Megatron do not approach him in any circumstances. Ring The Bumblebee delayed Rescuing Service on 22 33 22 33 22 33 22 33 22 33 22 33 22 33 22 33 Thankyou.


In other news, Prime minister Harry FlapJack has launched a scathing attack on the quality of cartoons shown all around Cybertron in all regions. "What is this rubbish called "Tipsy Dipsy" and  "Yellow Panther?" We need to invest in better cartoons for our young. Cartoons can have a huge influence."



(Due to budget cuts we are no longer having a puzzle page.....well until Rupert Murdoch finalises a rescue package)


______________________________________________________________________________


Note: The reason for the long number in the article is to make sure as best as I can that this number is not a real number in any region so people don't actually try to ring it.....well yes it would be silly but people have done it before in real magazines........

               Preview of Part 4


David: What can we do Megatron... I...I'm scared...really scared. My daughter... My Wife... I won't see them ev-

Megatron: We're both looking at imprisonment for a crime we didn't even commit. Even the jury know it yet they are told to lie as we just witnessed.... We are doomed David.. I am sorry. You have been a great friend. And on a lesser note you have actually been a great leader despite my initial misgivings which soon evaporated away seeing you defend me last night when we were with Steve. ..But alas...it is over....

(Doors burst open)   (Figure strolls in)


"NOT ON MY WATCH!!"

(Jury and the rest of the room turn round with gasps and whispers of who said that.)

"STOP this obstruction of justice immediately. Or at least stop this pretence of a moral agenda by wrapping up your evil into something you think you can fool people with. Honourable Judge. I request your ear.....

..these humans are flawed, evil...but that is some. You wish to poison them yet you yourself have been poisoned so much that you don't recognise the poison for what it is. You have become immune to it because you are the poison now. That is only some humans. Humans can also be good, kind hearted, respectful and Strong.

.... I am Optimus Prime.......





Note: For those who haven't watched Transformers Prime, when Optimus walks up to the judge and says, " I request your ear", I got that from Transformers Prime when he says that to Unicron but not just that line but also the way he says it. How he says it respectfully to Unicron, trying to reason and so he says it in the same way here.

Thankyou

                                              A day at the seaside Part 3




(ohhh Barry learnt to underline. Posh!)

(who is this Barry?)

(shutup and get on with the story. And stop breaking the fourth wall... Repairs are expensive)

And so we rejoin David Cameron and Megatron who when we last left them, had just finished packing.....

David: Are you driving Megs?

Megatron: Well I been drinking a bit of thee old energon...as you can tell by my speech...

David: Better leave it to me then. Safety first...... (careers second)

Megatron: Suit yourself.. I was only pretending and I only ever drink Alcoholic free Energon..but don't let me spoil your fun.

Both climb into their Ford Fiesta (reinforced with extra steel to supports Megatron's weight) (1= see bottom of page.)

2 and a half hours later.

Megatron: So you booked the hotel for sure?

David: Yeah oh yeah.... I paid for it.

Megatron: with your own money?

David: Of course! I always do don't I.. It's wrong to pay for something with someone else's money. It's the same as stealing.... And I'm always sure to spend my...their...our...money wisely, any leftover I give to charity. It's all about the big society. What's mine is yours. What's yours is mine. My money is everyone elses money..as in, they earn and I get to spend. But people can't blame me for the recession, after all..if it's mine it's theirs. So it's everyone elses fault..Not mine... Anyway I'm just glad HM revenue and Customs are so good at collecting money. That's one department we won't be scrapping.. (Megatron Groans) What's wrong with them?

Megatron: Where do I start?

David: Sorry?

Megatron: Nothing.. But they keep asking me for more money than they are entitled to.

(David slaps his own knee)

David: OH that! They do that to everyone old chap. Just give them a little bit of extra money...you know as a sort of bribe and they leave off everytime..it's what I do.

Megatron: Really?? Aww thankyou David

David: Not at all old friend.. Not at all. (chuckles to himself) Moron....

Megatron: Sorry?

David: Oh I said Soron....erm an old fashioned word for a little more..as in were nearly there.. Ah talking of convenient timing..here we are.

Megatron: Chuck us the Suncream

David: Sure.

Megatron: Aren't you putting any on?

David: Oh no...my skins too tough..

Megatron: ...... ..... ... ...... ...No comment.

David: You know Megatron. That's what is wrong with this world. Everyone is too focused on what is mine and what is yours. Learn to share. Sharing is caring. I think every episode of Care Bears should be released on D.V.D.

Megatron: Great idea! That will solve a lot of problems!

David: Oh...will it? I just wanted to watch it.....

Both come to a stop near an Ice cream truck near the beach

Megatron: Ice cream David?

David: Will you be paying?

Megatron: ...Makes no difference..really. I will be paying either way if you think about it.

David: That's the spirit!

Megatron: I think you misunderstood me....

David: Extra sprinkles Megs!


-Strolling along the beach eating their Ice creams...well Megatron pretending to..he can't actually eat Ice cream but thought it would be too rude to point out.. Especially as David "Brought" him his.

Megatron: Ahhh! I dropped my cone!

David: Along with your Dignity.

Megatron: Along with your Career.

Megatron: What did you say?     David: What did you say?

Megatron: Nothing                     David: Nothing

Megatron: Can I see your cone please?

David: Sur- No wait give it back! That's mine.

Megatron: But Dear oh dear David. Dear great leader of King Arthur's Britain. Weren't you saying just nano seconds ago how we talk to much about what is ours and yours and so on? Whatever happened to, "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine"? Where did those wedding worthy vowels go? Oh how quick did they disappear... So it was a mere statement confined to a doomed policy you would never have the courage to implement? Megatron Playfully Pushes David) Council worker comes running over.

David: Your right.. Sorry Megatron. This cone is neither of ours. We share.

Steve: Correct. It's mine.

Megatron: Who do you think you are?

Steve: Brighton Pest cont- Oh no...that's my night job sorry. Brighton Council Public Order Officer.

Megatron: What's the difference?

David: Dare you ask..

Steve: Oh nothing. Except the pay.

Megatron: I didn't even know Council's had a department called that.

Steve: Oh yes. We will find a way to take away anything that causes you the slightest bit of enjoyment. Picking flowers. Kissing in public. Everything natural we shall destroy. But not at once.. Oh no. People will protest. Slowly bit by bit..even taking decades. Gradually we would of radically changed the way people think. But we would of done it so slowly only the strongest would of noticed...but by then they would of moved on.. Haha!

Megatron: You moron. You just told us your whole strategy. You never do that. I know because I watch Cartoons.

Steve: Enough talk. I'm arresting you both for disrupting the peace.

Megatron: What! You are joking. You can't do that. And besides where's your proof?

Steve. Ha don't be silly. No need for that. It's all down to who the court will believe. I can get away with anything.

David: No I have heard enough.

Steve: Oh shut-

David: No. I am David Cameron. I am The PRIME Minister. I say what goes around here. This country is run By Government. Local and National. Your council has no authority or might against Her Majesty's Government.

............ Megatron. ......................
........................
.................
............
.........
....
..
.

...................Transform and............ROLL OUT!





Soundwave's comments. Soundwave would like to stress that he was in no way implying Megatron is fat...just that he is heavier than others. Many others. Not that I, Soundwave wrote this of course...Barry did......Rumour has it....


Barry's Note-As like many things, I made parts 1, 2 and 3 up, no planning or anything I just typed the first things to come to mind except for when I already said what would happen as part of part 3, but I still made it all up Spontanously and just fitted the bit about a Council Worker into it. But now I have put that in the story, I am going to do one final part and it will be written in the same random style so I genuinely have no idea what will happen either but I have thought of one bit that will definetly be in it- Megatron and David Cameron appearing in Court. And A Surprise guest..well not if you can work out who it is from the Initial's O.P... Ok...you know now...it's....

"Optimus Prime".....

Appearing in Part 4 of David Cameron and Megatron's Adventure......

By Barry Stuart

Hi, I'm here as just Barry today. No not as Soundwave or David or even Megatron. This is me. I thought of adding a new feature to my blog. A kind of Word/phrase of the day, said by me. Although people can submit their own as well or ones they like that other people have said. Also I may not be able to do it every day but as often as I can but I will still call it phrase of the day. Let's kick start it then-

"Anyone who can resist the smell of cooking is not related to me"

-Barry,

Soundwave: "Soundwave again."

Soundwave: Last Issue (I'm trying to make my job sound proffessional here, give me a break please)
I was helping a fake reader (I really don't help myself do I) with a PC problem (well it was an Imac technically but who would know) and we (I don't know why I say we) touched on the subject of Virus's. So I thought as it's a common issue I could go into it a bit further. Common Virus's like Windows Vista and MAC OS X or any of it's variations and predeccessors, are known to intergrate themselves into your system and can be very frustrating to remove. But with today's technology even threatening virus's like those can be kept at bay and effective cures do exist. One of my favourites is "Linux". It comes in different dosages and forms depending on the exact need for it and how it is to be applied and to what type of computer, Laptop etc or even older technology like PS3's and Imac's -cough cough-, not that cold again, do excuse me. One of the most common forms is "Linux Ubuntu" Which is usually 90% effective if your one of those strange people who limits themselves with odds. It has even been known to speed up computers. Here is what one happy user has to say. And no..I am not affliated with Linux manafacturers at all and so am not getting paid.

"Hi. I use Linux. I have always done. Even- can you bring the card a bit closer please I can't read it.....thankyou. Even on my personal Laptop. I even used Linux before these people kidnapped me and forced me to say all of this. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Yes I know it doesn't say that. Linux is the best. Buy it now. Buy it before it buys you. Linux. Linux. Linux. Li- Can I go now?"

Megatron: Ahhh alright you big softie. Let him go boys.

Optimus: Sure boss. Come on Donny, help me untie him and take his blindfold off.

Donny: And draw back the curtains?

Optimus: Errr.. no.

Donny: That was rude.

Megatron: Your face is rude.
-

Err..yes as you can see. That was one of our happy users. So when in doubt. Install Linux today and brighten up and extend the life of your Computer. And guess what...Linux is free!

Be sure to look out for me again when I will be solving more problems I discovered people have, through illegal means such as spying....... What? No honestly...I never knew illegal meant that..

                  An Update you never asked for

Soundwave back again. Seeing as I still haven't had any emails regarding computer problems (either everyone has an Imac or no-one trusts my fixing skills) I am in a rather...stuck position.

Time to make things up again. Here is a letter I allegedly received last night from...er. ah.. Sir Optimus Prime. This is what it said.

"Dear Soundwave the great who is the best computer technician I have ever known and ever will. I admire your skills so much and I wish I was half as intelligent as you. Everyday I look at your face I just wanna- oh yeah. The computer problem. Last week I brought an Imac for some strange reason, despite my doctor assuring me I was on the recovery. I was trying to Sync my Iphone with my Imac to update my playlist of all 55 Cliff Richard songs and all the hits the Beegees had. So my Iphone correctly read 57 songs on device but my Imac keeps stating there is only 45. So did some get lost? I appreciate you taking the time out from your breathing exercises to help me with my made up problem, that is if you do help me. Otherwise I am not grateful." 

Yours Sincerely,

Peter Cullen.

12345 Run out of numbers soon Street,

Paved over Town,

Kent,

Cybertron,

Well Optimus. Where do I start? Firstly, I am surprised you dared to even have the audacity to purchase a Computer, although I am glad you opted to buy from the more cheaper range, the Imac's, -cough cough-, excuse me I have a bad cough. But still, I know it is none of my business but how did you get the money for a computer? I thought you were only charging $5 a kiss at the beauty pageant. Or..the last time I was there you were... Anywho (I've always wanted to say that) sweeping aside the massive amounts of money you have mysteriously acquired through some means that HM Revenue and Customs would love to know about, (although they have enough money so I won't tell them) have you tried Restarting (or rebooting if your feeling clever) your Iphone? I find mine often freezes. Not that I have one. Almost as much as Blackberry's. Not that I have one of them either. What do you think i'm made of? Actually...don't answer. You might want to try Rebooting your Imac as well. Do you have all the latest anti-virus's? A common virus found on many Imac's me and the good folk at PC world inspect is one called "MAC OS X. It disguises itself as part of your system and users are tricked into downloading by it's fake positive reviews and it pretends to be useful but what you don't see is how much it is destroying your system behind the scenes. A similar problem used to be found on windows based machines (if such a term even makes sense) A common one was called "Windows Vista". There was also "Windows XP" but this was easier to remove unlike Vista and some users even insisted it had positive features unlike the notorious Vista which is famous for bringing down and bringing to a halt over 600,000 computers and 20,000 business's in the all to well known 2004 "Vista Gate" which occured on 21st August 2004. Since that day people every year on the same date burn discs which have been known to carry the virus, while shouting " Burn. Burn!" So I hope none of this helps you and so hopefully the problem will persist and you will need my advice again or at least pretend to. 

Yours only a tiny bit Sincerely,

Bar- I mean. Shockwave.... No that's the other one. Soundwave. (V2.0. With Linux kernel. Whatever that means)

The Kent reference in the letters address is how I've noticed Kent seems to be everywhere, get mentioned everywhere etc and I like to think Kent would somehow even exist in Cybertron in some way.

For those who don't know. The seemingly random date for my Vista joke is actually my Birthdate with the exception of the year as I was born in 1992 but obviously Vista wasn't around then.

As usual, By Barry Luke Stuart.

 

Now we all know about Sonic being based, or in part based on Dragonball. The Yellow Aura round Sonic when transforming into SuperSonic? Ahhhh you say. But When I first saw the 90's dragonball z movie, Dragonball Z wrath of the dragon I nearly fainted. No.. seriously I almost did. There right before me...was Link in Dragonball Z! Watch the movie and you will see what I mean. What kind of magnicficent dream was this. Here was a hero, brandishing a Sword AND a Orcarina and even nods to Links time travelling antics, by implying the Sword Tapion gives to young trunks in the movie is how Future trunks gets he's sword, who is a fellow time traveller. Coincedences you all yell before retreating back to the T.V. to watch more in fascination. Don't spoil my fun now and this is more than that I could tell. BUT in this instance I actually didn't assume Link was based on Tapion..no I opted for vice versa. This is why. I realised this movie was dated about 1995 if memory serves.. and The Legend of Zelda games date back to the 1980's!!!! Errrr! Obviously dragonball (the manga) dates back to 1985 (don't quote me..but I think the same year the first ever Zelda game came out!) but Tapion is a movie character as in other words...a spin off character and so wasn't created by Akira Toriyama, so therfore he was not created until the 1990's! So I went on believing it was Tapion who was influenced by Link/ Zelda Franchise..until I found a article online. Now i'm sorry everyone I can't remember what it's URL was but it gave a twist in the tale if it is true.. And another franchise,well partly, was influenced by Dragonball z. Basically it was suggested That Orcarina of time which was released in 1998, was based on Tapion and/or the movie he was in released in 1995! I know..I never realised either..Please let me know if you have any further details on this..

Barry,

barrystu@hotmail.com

The Future's Bright. The Future's Orange.

 Well today I got a nice surprise. When I was waking up (it's none of your business when I wake up, my life thankyou :P ) I got a text from Orange.. Yes I thought they would be doing their usual monthly texts, top up £10 to get free texts etc..But it was something different. They decided to give me £5 FREE Credit! Yes. Really. I was already a fan of theirs but now this makes them the most generous provider ever. Yes it's done to keep customers, but I was already a customer of theres and theres no purchase neccessary, not even having to text to confirm like with some reward things. A completely free £5 to use before 8th december, so I've not spent a penny. For once something really free!!!!

 Thankyou Orange.

                                                     A day at The Seaside Part 2


Nick thinking ( well I don't know why David is moaning about his Cabinet.. About time he had a clear out anyway)

Megatron: "Hey David! We gonna get a move on or not?"

David: "Sure Megatron."

Megatron: "Hey, call me Megs."

David: "Are you bringing your inventions Meg's?"

Megatron: "Yes, definetly. I can work on some of them during our holiday. I think the flavourless water still needs refining."

David: "To be honest... I still don't get the point of the "house with no roof" you applied for a patent for."

Megatron: Just you wait 'till summer and you'll see.. They'll all want one.


To Be Continued...........


For those who never got the reference. When David was talking about Nick clegg filling his cabine t up with his children it was a reference to the coalition, Nick clegg having his ministers in David's cabinet (the other kind) and how they make out they always battle for power and Nick is seeking for an opportunity to take control or gain more influence. And so Nick saying David needs a clearout in a physical cabinet, is also a joke about the non-physical kind.

Agony Uncle Bazza. Informal and Formal

Will be on my Wix website too.

Thankyou

Please look at my websites when you have a minute. Also, if you want to check out each others, give me your web address and I can post it on here too and give a review even if you want :) I have added loads and everyday I update all 3 of my main sites, this one and www.our-realm.co.uk and www.wix.com/barryvp/ourworld

Thankyou!

Barry,

Optimus Prime: Oh my shiny new-

Phone rings-

"Hello, 321 flirters, Optimus here"

"Hi This is June. My son Megatron, completely innocent I might add, received an email from you. I am disgusted by what you do!"

"Ma'am. Before I answer, can you give me a second to sit up straight so I can pretend to listen to you."

"Certainly"

Thankyou. Now how can I say I'm sorry? Take your son out for a date? Show him there is more than meets the eye?

No! Absolutely not.. Well apart from the second option. I mean the first.

Listen give me your email and I'll apologise to him face to face.

Well ..I.

Come on. It won't take a second.

Well... I

I need your email?

Well...ok..

......Yes?

"JuneIweartightT-shirtsinthesummerwhilecookingflapjacksinmidwinter@hotmail.co.uk

"......oh.........I see..why you was so reluctant... Erm right. Accept me then. My addy is Optimalbodyfunctions@coldmail.co.uk

"Right..Accepted. Hang on.. Just turning my laptop on..

What? But you said you was accepting my request. How can you be if your laptop isn't even on yet. It's like your speaking in the wrong order..or someone is a very bad editor.

Well Sorry! You'll find continuity problems in everything.

Even British Shows?

..................Even British Shows!

(Optimus cries into his hands)

June: Anyway...Megatron! That cam girl has come to apologise! She's fully clothed, don't worry. Come on, so we can hurl insults at the disgusting-

Optimus: Ahhh Megatron. Come closer so I can see you.

June: Go on Megatron. I'm going to be right here. Don't log off until you have your apology.

Optimus: Megatronus. I would like to apologise profoundly for what I did. I know it is wrong and making our bodies seem mere "playthings" and not respecting people and most importantly off all making sexual advances to various people is wrong. Sex with anyone is a losers game for people with no life. But making love to a loved one is what real people do. Yet sadly I am a robot and could not see this until now. But my eyes have been opened faster than Brock's in the morning. This is a message for the children. I am Optimus prime. I send this message to all confused people across the earth. Wether young or old. All remaining hero's on earth. Do not tolerate seedy websites. Do not be afraid to express your shock at hearing your friends cheating. Stand up and be counted. Say this is King Arthurs Britain. Say life and delicate things should be treated as such and those not capable of sticking to one partner, those not capable of learning morals that they should of already had, should be ostricised. Too many are afraid. Too many won't Stand up. But I'm not. But I will. This is all true and honest. I am Optimus- Oh crap I already said that.

June: Your name is, " Optimus oh crap I already said that?"

Optimus: June.... Will you marry me?

Optimus: .....And Let me be a Stepdad to Megatronus? 

Optimus: Me and Bumblebee split up you see..... And I have no-one to keep me warm on these cold nights. And that long speech used up all my fuel.

June: Oh don't worry. In the next clip you'll have half your fuel back again.

Optimus: Sweeping those contunity issues aside you just mentioned, June. Marry me. Let me be an opponent of Cam girls instead of an associate. Today is V for Victory. Tomorrow is S for success.

June: Speaking of Continuity...I have noticed how your spelling of that word keeps changing....

Megatron: I always thought S was for se-

June: Shhhhh! 

Megatron: Sorry..

June: I accept your proposal Optimus. But I Must tell you one thing first... I'm married to Bumblebee.

Optimus: !!! What!!! That's who he went off to.

June: I'm sorry Optimus. It all just started in the back seat one day..

Optimus: Oh I bet it did....

To Be Continued..

A day at the seaside.....................

With Megatron and David.

Megatron: So David, have you brung the spade?

David: Oh yeah don't worry. I've used it a few times to dig me out of some small holes from time to time....

Megatron (Megatron coughs loudly) No comment.

David: Here doggy!

(Nick Clegg comes bounding over)

David looks down at his faithful Labrador.

David: Now Nick. Remember your not coming with us, Be a good doggy and stay with Uncle Gordon. And I don't want to see any more puppies when I came back. Remember when I only went out to get some chips last week, you had filled my whole cabinet with your kind...

(Nick Wags his tail slowly then puts his head down sad)

David: We won't be long..

Megatron. Huh! That's what you think. By the way. Are you taking your wife?

David: Oh no! Nooooo! Besides, she's taken Florence out with the Queen to go shoe shopping.

Megatron: I never realised they did shoes in her size.

David: The queens or my Daughters?

Megatron: The queen.....

David. Oh ants have been slaves to humans for years....it's amazing what they can do...with a bit of bribery...

Megatron: Sounds like George Bush.

David: Sounds like our whole government

Megatron: Anyway.....

To be continued.....

Megatron: I hear you have a career... Perhaps you can help me...

David Cameron: Oh I doubt that... I don't really work here you see...

Young man: Er is anyone else in this que waiting to sign on for Jobseekers allowance? Come this way please if you are.

David: Quick come on. You don't want to have to wait another half an hour.

Despite the Manager of the branch walking close by, Megatrong leans to the side and says to David-

Megatron: Don't you mean year...

Megatron and David Cameron at the Jobcentre plus in Romford. (Obviously not looking for a job or they wouldn't be in the place where your least going to find one, staff get paid to refer you onto jobs but they purposely try to set you up with jobs they don't think you will qualify for so they can refer you to more).

Next Episode >>>>>>>>> David Cameron and Megatron at the seaside. Having fun until a Council worker declares it illegal for Megatron to be playfully pushing David, saying he is disrupting the peace..........

Do you Fancy a new TCG shop for all your trading card needs? Well mine is the one you want. My new Shop sells a variety of things,not just trading cards and the Trading cards will be all the classics as well as rare and one of type trading cards... Join the fun.. Join www.our-realm.co.uk (under development) Forum may appear as well.


My online shop. Where even Megatron shops.. (Rumour has it)







*We rung Megatron's estate but could not get neither a confirmation nor a denial of this from his spokestribes.

Warning! This website contains seriously good deals and may cause some people to come down with a rare case of disbelief.

Primetime Pokemon's Blog: Raticate -- Arceus Pokemon Card Review

Primetime Pokemon's Blog: Raticate -- Arceus Pokemon Card Review: Pokemon Card Overview: Today's Pokemon Card Review is of Raticate from the Arceus set. This is a stage 1, colorless type Pokemon card, wit...

If you would like to check out my youtube channel, here is the address;

http://www.youtube.com/user/BarryVP12?feature=mhee

: )

  ......Some say scones. Some say scone,


Some say Megatron. Some say Paul daniels (get the joke?)

Some say Irene. Some say bigger breasted lady.

Some say read. Some say read. Ok... your lost..and there are several flaws with all of this. Well I never professed to be flawless did I?

 Soundwave here. No I'm not doing my deep breathing exercises today. Today is Saturday so it's my, "let me fix your computer problems or at least pretend to while breathing in a completely irrelevant manner that coincides with the release of Michael Bay's last Transformers film dancing naked around a campfire that produces the offspring of Gears of war second strike the unofficial title of my Bedroom disaster written by "cody-lets-make-a-name-up-next-issue-Thompson" day".

Yes.                 It's a long day.

So what problems do you have? Message me your problems or comment below and I will try to help as best as I can, albeit in a humorous way if Lord Megatron permits. For now I shall have to make up problems. Slinky Dave says my PC won't turn on at all. Well buy another one you potato. With a name like that you can certainly afford to.

Next question, from Petersburg in Petersburg. My Computer crashes each time I watch Eastenders on BBC iplayer. Well Petersburg, I think you answered your question and you know what you need to stop doing there. I hope you can see the error of your ways... with... Grrrr E..ast....enders.

I shall be back. When you call me. When you need me. I hear and see all. You shall have a friend in me. I shall be listening..... always.

        Soundwave   (V.2)

Myths

                                                               MythBusters


Through the years we get told lots of things and I would like to clear a few things up that I was told years ago.

The Beegees were born in New Zealend.

I am told they were not born in New Zealend.

The Beegees are in their 80's.

They are in their 60's now.

If you have any other Myths that need clearing up..you know how to contact me, check my profile, or leave a comment : )

I was googling along...like I do.. When I noticed Frieza has updated his henchmen. The Ginyu force have had a makeover and now seem to be made of members determined to show as much flesh as they can. Anyone order 3 Sandwich's?

Better not add anymore food jokes..or we get into dodgy territory..

Who likes to write letters? Yess I know there's a lot of us. Even in this day and age of technology it's lovely to take a step back.  Sure there are dangers to be wary of but as with everything else there is as well. Perhaps I might design a new site for exchanging letters, penpal letters, mail, whatever you want to call it. If you would like to work with me on that or anything else...you know what you can do..  :) x

Bazza





barrystu@hotmail.com

Originally my wix website was to be my main instrument for my projects but looking at the speed with which you can post blogs on here I may use this as well, although rest assured all my websites will be updated as reguarly as I can. A depression help group will eventually be launched as soon as I finish deciding the best format for it. If you would like to help or ask more about that, as always contact me anyway you want. Next is a Friend group for meeting new friends. I would love input and suggestions for that. Don't we all love making new friends.


Contact Info

Email:barrystu@hotmail.com.
Youtube Channel:BarryVP12.
Twitter:@barryvp.
Skype-Coming soon.
Address and/or mobile number- Message me please.

Thankyou

Barry Luke Stuart

http://www.apple.com/uk/stevejobs/

A nice tribute from Apple. I heard Barack Obama and Bill Gates who was a lifelong friend, both left messages.

I better make sure I press the right buttons...

Just a quick update of thoughts.

Part of the sadness I think is the suddeness. Maybe he did know himself he might not be with us much longer but it seemed he died so suddenly, without warning, no heads-up. Maybe it wa sjust that he was extremely ill but was determined to work to the end, doing what he loved, if that is true then that is ok. It's not that it presents a scaryness to me. But that it seems rude and strange, although I hadn't been following his every move, it seems to me like he was at Apple one day, working and then the next day he was gone. I just guess I am used to seeing people slowly limit their workloads, sleep more than they used to etc but with Steve I never seemed to see that.. I guess it shows his energy.

______
Update-18/07/2012,  with the sad news that former Beegee Robin Gibb has died through cancer and other health problems, perhaps what I wrote above could be true for him as well. I didn't imagine Robin would actually die....but it turned out he would. I can't remember what his health was when I wrote this post last year but I'm sure he was a little healthier, strange to think that the next year Robin Gibb would die too..

       Cyberton News                                                        10pence Decadely

Jim says: Will we have to lower the cost of this newspaper? As
human money is extremely rare and..... (cont pg 333)



Our main feauture. Ultras Magnus's  I I I I I debate. Will he still be "Iing"? And Captain Kirks all you can eat buffet goes stale. Not to mention a look at Soundwave's Bath shipping program getting the plug pulled on it and what this will mean for the economy.


Did Megatron Kill off Optimus prime. New D.N.A. evidence has come to light. Leading and investigating detective, Segeant Bumblebee Golddigger says" While this evidence is completely irrelevant as Transformers do not have D.N.A. like humans, I shall pretend this is true so we can make an arrest..nobody reads this newspaper do they?"










Got an idea for Cybertron news? Email barrystu@hotmail.com.  Before it's too late.
_____________________________________________
                                                                                          I
                                                                                          I
                                                                                          I
Updated list of entities banned from having pets:            I
                                                                                          I
Megatron. Irene. Sonic the Hedgehog.                             I
_____________________________________________I


Puzzle Page! We are pleased to announce once again we have no puzzles for you! Turn to page 14 for them! Your welcome! No no, Your too kind.

Sir Steve Jobs (I say sir to people everyday out of respect, not wether knighted or not) and Transformers: The game, Playstation 2.


Thankyou Megatron, I'll take over.


First up. I was completely shocked and saddened to hear of the death of Steve Jobs, Apple Co-founder as well of another company that later became a part of Apple, worked at Pixar animation studios, saviour of Apple transforming the company, and maybe his favourite role- a family man, four children, wife and a sister. While I find Apple's products severely overpriced and overhyped massively...,as I keep stressing to people, I have nothing against the products. Sure one of the Iphones might not of been able to make phone calls. One might of lacked Java..but who says you have to have it? Well done for being different. I love all technology and will never  rubbish any. My only issue like with the Imac's is the price and looking at mainly the technology, is it worth it? No. But the actual product? Brilliant. The reason I challenge the price so much is because so many and me wouldn't mind having a go at an Iphone or an Imac but at terrible costs..well how can we. But Steve Jobs handled issues with Apples products good. He, I'm sure to many and to me, not just because he is about the only Apple worker I know the name of, was the face of Apple and interestingly will still be for sometime I think. He was a good speaker and I haven't even heard him speak much, which says a lot.I imagine he enjoyed working at Apple, judging by the years he worked their for as well. I bet many people were glad to see him return to Apple for years away and it's strange how so soon after retiring he died but he kept himself busy up until the end doing what he loved.


Steve Jobs 1955-2011


R.I.P.


Part 2


Playing Playstation 2 games yesterday on my brothers birthday was interesting. He was playing Sims and Resident Evil, which you don't need me to tell you are legendary and both very innovative, games. And after that we played Transformers, a version based on the Transformers: Armada cartoon from nearly a decade ago but a more recent incarnation of Transformers cartoons still. Then we played, "Transformers: The game", based on the first Transformers live action film, from 2007. Both were very good..despite Chelsey trying to blow up the whole of America despite us opting to try the Autobot missions first. More wonders came about when before my very eyes Bumblebee casually walked up to some kind of "nourishment centre" (alright restuarant, M.R. fancy pants..actually better not say M.R. or Janet Street Porter will be after me..don't know why though.,.she is a man herself) and jumped up to the top of the building (yet the building did not collapse or shudder at all, although the game does have amazingly realistic physics, and what I noticed is how well damage "stays" and buildings don't miraculously reconstruct themselves as you turn a corner, although there is a whole mission devoted to destruction and if such a thing happened that would be a big problem, but it is impressive to have it, as in the game to be on top form, even outside of missions on "the overworld" so to speak.) and picked up a giant doughnut and lobbed it somewhere and I looked back seconds later and it was still rolling down the pavement with no signs of stopping. If America ever had money problems before...little do they know what's been unleashed. If that was the Autbots..imagine how much damage the Decepticons cause. I dread to see what Chelsey can do commanding one of them. Yes Optimus prime, I did see you throw a robot into a building in one of your Michael Bay stints. That didn't go unnoticed. 


That's all for now. I hope you enjoy.


Thankyou : )








Barry. Promoter of "I shall start a sentence with "And" if I want to." It is not bad grammar and often neccessary. 

Megatron: Oh I'm a sex bomb. Sex bomb. You like my shiny-

..................

Megatron: Oh hi Ladies and Gents. Well I am glad to of regained control of my blog. Well I never lost control of it actually but I typed in the wrong url and...well I thought my account had been hacked by some person severely lacking confidence judging by their blog posts..I would show an example but ofcom already havemy peanuts for raisins. And actually it isn't my blog but young Barry's but I have taken it over, I megatron, incase you didn't know who I was. And I shall start a sentence with and if I want to...does anyone die when I do? But even I have sympathy for the right day and that is today. I learned Steve jobs died..a great person regardless of wether they managed to acomplish goals but he is someone who certainly did and so before I let Barry do a more serious blog post about him, I would like to bow to Steve and say you will be missed and I hope you had a good life and enjoyed it more importantly.


Steve Jobs (Steven Paul Jobs) 1955-2011







By Megatron (Barry)

Do you fancy a T-shirt? I am designing and selling many.. Please email me @ barrystu@hotmail.com.. Or visit http://www.our-realm.co.uk/home/my-t-shirt-collection

Thankyou,

Barry.

Short Preview

David Cameron: The point is no-one told me I was Prime minister. I never knew. Nick can you stop licking my leg for just a second..

Nick Clegg: Sorry, just trying to heal wounds.

David Cameron: You are a wound Nick.

What an interesting conversation...

Megatron: Easy on the ice though this time Pikachu

Pikachu: Pika Pika!

Megatron: Mutant creature. No-one understands you.

Pikachu: ........Piiiiiiiiiiiiiika.

Bumblebee: Don't worry. I know how you feel.


Everyone all together- Side script.

A quick and urgent update from Optimistic Megatron. So urgent that I post it on Blogger instead of the disturbingly fast Twitter.

"I have something to say. There have been naked pictures circulating around the internet of me. These are not me, as to say they are not me. Except from the one where I'm wearing Lacy underwear... Ohhh I remember that day.. It was at Bumblebee's funeral and WheelJack spiked Transformers Prime Megatron, my cousin, with too much energon in his flavourless water. A bit like the time he put too much energon in Optimus's energon free energon drink....although rumours persist that was on purpose.. Anyway... I digress.. If I was wearing underwear they wouldn't be naked pictures but my point is that, that is the only real picture of me.


And the one where me and Cliff swap Spanners......


So thankyou for allowing me to clear a few things up.

Megatron: Father! I demand a paternity test!

So let's go to our first caller... Hey there Fred..

Fred: Hi..

Megatron: How may I help?

Fred.. Well Megs. I've been seeing thi-

Megatron: WOAH! WOAH! Take a step back there dude! Where is your grammar? "I've"? I have!

Fred: Sorry...I never realised..

Megatron: What? What you thought that just because I like to blow people up I don't speak proper English. YOUUUUU Hypocrite.. That's what you are. Do you know what you are

Fred: Yes a Hy-

Megatron: Let me tell you. a Hypocrite. A hypocrite.

Fred: Anyway... I have been seeing this girl for over a month now but she wants to have children. But I don't feel ready yet.

Megatron: Firstly, thankyou for speaking properly this tyme dude yh m8. I am glad I was able to help. Join us again next time

Fred: But you nev-

Megatron: Goodbye. I would wink but my prosthetics don't allow it.

_______________________________________________________________________


If you want the serious answer to that question or any other question please feel free to email at barrystu@hotmail.com and I will try to be as helpful as I can :)

Megatron. The only dating site you can trust.

Cybertron's Archived Ads...... (Archived for a reason) By Barry Stuart.

Megatron's Dating Services

....................................................Sponsored by Robin Gibb's Smooth Radio show

______________________________________________________________________________

Megatron. Putting the Tron in your relationship.

Transformers Scripts.

Boy: mum have you seen that new Galvatron toy?

Mum: That's not Galvatron son. That's a cheap imitation called Megatron.


(GASP)!!

Hmmmmm

The life and times of Sir Patrick Stewarts stale Roast Potato flavoured chimney sweep Walkers crisps.

A long time ago in the year 1903. Before. fullstops. Were overused. As. A result. Of improper. And. False advertising. Megatron was at his computer one day when he ran to his mum in disgust. Noo he did not hate her. But what he witnessed. Here is the scene.

Megatron's mum:  (Er....er... she was born with that name....cough cough.) "What's wrong son".

Megatron: "Mummy!  Scary. Scary".

Megatron's mum: (who's name has been revealed to be June now) "What was it"?

Megatron: "On the computer. I was looking at that site...Wikipeapodedia..for a intimate guide on how to grow up to be a good Galvatron when I'm older, like you told me too, when a pop came up. Oh how I hate machines. Full of Violence and harrassment..unlike us".

June: (who shall now appear as June from now on as if it was some gentle way from the author to gradually reveal details about characters) "What was the pop up about? And why was the guide intimate"?

Megatron: "Because it told me to have a shower whilst naked......"

June: (because I can't be bothered to keep writing Megatron's mum anymore..and it may sound like the beginning of a very rude joke...) "Er...anyway... The pop up"?

Megatron: "Well this Cam girl came on..Saying... " I want you. I want you sooo badly". I covered my eyes mummy, like you said I should in these situations. Although I did sneak a little peak and I admit....their pistons were smoo- "

June: "Megatron"!

Megatron: (Hastily getting back on track:) "Er..anyway. They wouldn't leave me alone and that Wiki site must be dodgy because somehow this cam girl got hold of my email address and sent me an email".

June: "Oh no"!

Megatron: "See look mum, .... "Need servicing? Let me see to all of your needs. Optimus Prime"


The HORROR.



Extended/Mini Part 2


Mavis: (June,but for some reason has changed her name since the last episode...or perhaps a continuity error.) "Ohh Megatron... That must be your dad".

(Walks in through the door) "Hello guys".

Mavis: "Hello Bumblebee dear".


Dern dern dern!!!!

..............................................

...

Megatron: "Hello..................................... Father...."


Written By Barry Stuart in a Spontanous moment.

Daily Mail 04/10/2011


Well it's been a while since I have heard some good news today but waking up and looking at the front page of the Daily  
Mail that changed. After tremendously painful years of torment.......Amanda Knox is freed. Yes the breaking news that will surely be spreading around the internet, work, emails, maybe even personal letters, T.V. and more is Amanda Knox  is freed. To which I am delighted as a believer of her Innocence. But alas...I did really think after I read about this appeal that she would not be freed and Italian prosecutors seemed so determined of her Guilt. Yet I read she said she was not even at the place of the murder at the time. I am glad she is safe and can hopefully begin the long road to being able to sleep safe and sound at night again or to sleep at all. I do feel sad though...why Britain or America or any other Country who claim to be strong..did nothing to intervene. Start a war in Iraq. Tick. Save a young girl and at the worst accidently start a war with Italy? No Tick. But why? I pity those who call themselves leaders but are not. Bold leaders will make everything there business, help the innocent and bring them to a safe home no matter what. This went on for 4 years. Britain for a start should of demanded her freedom. What kind of powers do leaders have that they are bounded by distance...borders.

Tesco Scandal- My facebook response to journalist threatened in Tesco.

Barry's Profile · Tesco's Profile · Barry's Wall

Barry Stuartposted toTesco

Dear Tesco, do you sell notepads in your romford store?

· · about an hour ago · Privacy:

• 
  
• • 

    Tesco Hi Barry,
    
    We most certainly do sell notepads. We have a whole isle of stationary available at our Romford Extra on Hornchurch Road so you'll have no problem finding what your looking for.
    
    All the best,
    Peter-Customer care

    about an hour ago · · 1 person
  • 

    Barry Stuart Hi Tesco, thankyou for your quick reply! Would it be legal for me to buy some?

    59 minutes ago ·
  • 

    Tesco Hi Barry,
    
    You would certainly be within your rights to buy a notepad from in store.
    
    Have a good evening,
    Peter-Customer care

    4 minutes ago ·
  • 

    Barry Stuart Well im not so sure Peter. I do believe you jokingly warned a journalist he would be arrested for taking notes of your prices in store. I say jokingly as surely you don't believe for a second you could actually do anything about it. How ironic then..let me get it right.. You sell notepads yet the very item you sell you would rather no-one used. A bit like selling a gun and saying, "yeah have it..but don't shoot anyone".

    2 seconds ago ·

Well....who wants to play? (Gameboy I meant! You silly people........) :P

Hey,

Well I'm worn out :D I've just been back from a great day at Southend! We went to Adventure Island Theme park (which I recommend) and ate in a little cafe. It was a good day, in honour of my birthday the previous day, was the reason for everyone venturing out, although I love Southend and will go there any day, everyday if I could lol. I need to go there more, a complete contrast to Romford, Ok..partly the reason people hangout late at night is because theres more room and away from cars and other obstacles but Southend is also a lot more fun and generally, always so pleasant to visit, and the people and so on. The staff at adventure Island are particuarly good at there job, enthusiastic, fun, do more than just operate rides and check wrist bands, they return every smile and nod I and others throw at them and talk to you before you get on each ride, a job well done. Southend would be an ideal place to live and I shall bring many friends there in the future on trips :D By the way...On my first and second visits to southend years ago I couldn't help notice and again today..how pleasant and attractive most, if not all the female staff are.. :) But an attractive, kind face means a trustworth person...good to know when they launch you to your doom! One of my particular favourite rides is "Rage", very fast!! I warn you. Next time i'm in the area. I must meet up with some people I know who live there and go crab hunting too lol. But interestingly I did bump into 3 people I knew and these were people who live near me and not Southend. Maybe I should send an email to Adventure Island staff saying it was another great visit.. well done. The trains weren't bad either for once.
Well I'll be back.. Ask me any questions,

Barry xx