Please rest in peace, Alice. A true friend. xxx I will love you always.

Remember, people:

The things you love are not taken in the dead of the night, by common thieves. But in broad daylight, by the masters of disguise: politicians.

-Me

Avril Lavigne- support Fly

While I have been feeling sad over not getting to participate (As a candidate.) in the general election, dreaming of no more potatoes and plenty more pasta, talking to my lovely friends from afar, listening to them detail the joys of London and England, in their eyes, debating over what to do about my life, the world, how to help it and all life, keeping a check on the status of my goals and feeling sad over my increased loneliness I have had little time to talk about my "rock," of sorts. Avril Lavigne.

I first properly heard her music when I was a teenager. Some of her songs had been on some video games my brother had (Burnout.) and I had an image of her, young teenage self, in a comic I had as a child/teen, but I had not really known anything of her music at that point. During increasingly troubled times I would come to discover the emotion within her music.

Her lastest single: Fly, is another example of her philanthropy. I hope you enjoy it.

Psychology psychology

My blog will be transforming. Like a caterpillar wrapping itself up in the substance excreted from its own body, comforting itself that this process is neccessary to fully realise its dreams of grandeur, my blog is, also...well, nothing like that whatsoever. I just wanted to write something about caterpillars. I am not "deciding" to change my blog, I am a natural creature devoid of routine. I am merely observing that psychology has taken up a great deal of my mind within the last five years. So, I will no doubt be publishing some of my psychological observations, experiments and other such stuff. Over and out. 

So I walked to Romford and back again, in order to get photos for my passport (They fuss about sizes, background etcetera so I use the Romford photo booth as I know they usually fit the requirements fine.). Legs and feet aching (Bones still seem pretty weak despite regular intake of Vitamin D.) but glad I am still healthy in other ways-not out of breath at all, if my bones had been stronger I could have walked home far quicker. In fact, my whole trip would have been much shorter had there not been an engineer tinkering with the photo booth for a little while. When our friend left everything was apparently working as I received my photos fine. It was the journey to Romford that concerned me most. Walking near Romford cemetry (I was deeply desiring to see Natalie's grave but for some reason I could not do it.) I saw a dead fox. The immediate and unexpected display shocked me. It was so...out of place. Of course, a dead anything anywhere is sad...but seeing it near the bus stop unnerved me and immediately made me think about the selfishness of some humans. The fox simply looked "paused." There was no blood...or obvious sign of injury...but it most definitely was not sleeping. But it was not in a forest...I could accept it if it was...well, no, death does scare me when it is connected to someone else's life...but I would be reminded that this happens...animals kill to eat...kill for sport...and so on...and sadly we are little different when we get hungry. But the shock was seeing him/her just laying there...it was wrong...I should have picked it up and put it somewhere nicer but it was so unexpected. It was no longer there on my walk back...so somebody had "taken care of it," and I really hope care was involved. Why should kindness end with death? This poor fox had probably starved to death! In a world we created. Taunting them by leaving the odd bits of nature here and there but not enough for them to stay comfortable. If we are not going to look after these creatures as much as we do one another then we should at least build a sanctuary for them. Imagine if you were a fox and had to rummage though dustbins looking for food? If you have been extremely poor you may have had to do that, not easy, I imagine? This is not acceptable- for human or for animal. Sure, it may be hard to make sure every single animal has a suitable home and adequate food supplies, although we can try everyday to make it a reality. But the problem here is ignorance and fear. I shudder to think at how many may have taunted the dead animal as they passed it, on their way to the shops and cinema. Spare a thought for a friend? It died. No-one knows how or when...but somewhere there is another animal deeply upset. How dare some humans believe intelligence and love lies only with humans. Am I insane? Are YOU insane? A fox is crying tonight, I'll hope that some humans will be too, but I fear you'll be too busy to spare a thought for a "just a fox." I know some of you out there DO care. I have seen some of the good humans are capable of. But it is the others that I fear. The animals even breath the same oxygen as and will even approach us, on occassion, and still you wish to seperate us from them. We ARE different. But it is your motives that I have a problem with. Generalising about all foxes being murders rather than pointing out that all foxes are...well foxes, it's a natural observation, as is all blondes are...blondes...men are men... It's a label designed to reference, not to be filled with negativity. Maybe you will say I am blinded, maybe this fox had hurt someone. So I, in turn, should mimic its style? I do not regret my innate selflessness. Yes, sometimes in the past I was too trusting but it was the people who abused that trust who were deluded, not I. I have made mistakes, that was not one of them.

And so we tremble


This year has been tough.

That can be evidenced by the fact that I am telling you. I seem to share feelings only when officially depressed again. Who is "you?" Am I alone? That question has haunted me for some time.

Why I believe in a people's government

Apparently, much of the world has been engrossed in Russel Brand's "schemes," of late. As to give you a heads up on where this blog shall be going, I would like to start out by suggesting that in the absence of a God, one chooses between the lesser of two evils. Now, obviously such a response was designed to have one look at the situation we are all in, rather than aiming to compare Russel to some sort of Satan. The truth is thus: faith in our politicians, and by extension: democracy, is at an all time low. Rioters, hackers, elite, extremists, terrorists and various other groups, all seek to fiddle with and mock our way of life. I have not followed Russel closely and he may genuinely have a heart. If so, if you really are as sensitive as I, if you really do know what being poor and sick is like and turn to tears at the sight of the elite remaining oblivious, or intentionaly ignorant, to the suffering all around the world, then we are on the same page.

But are we using the same font?

Before we talk more about Russel, and my own views, let us give some appreciation to the circumstances.

- We have no voice. Our democracy is a shambles.
- The elite have such a stronghold, peaceful revolution seems impossible.

That being said, violence. extremism, manipulation and anything else immoral, should not be tolerated. If Russel truly thinks he is helping, then he has fallen victim to the very plague which robbed Anonymous of any credibility. Anonymous: freedom fighters fighting for a fair society, aiming to rid the world of untouchables. Wait? Anonymous Anonymous? The vigilante group that is lawless and rebelious, the untouchable group who bring harm in the name of peace? The group that is corrupting our children into thinking that immorality is ok, that the cause justifies the means? Yeah, laws can be wrong. The point is not about morality-action, but morality-intent, not actionable. Anonymous clearly intend to cause mayhem. I struggle to see how they could be so naive as to believe that hacking enough computer networks would somehow bring about change. Worrying, what if it DID? Our aim now is to teach our kids to bully others into submitting to their will? Why do so many newspaper comments suggest a love for these oxymorons? What kind of world do you want your children to live in, and why does it beg that you leave your logical-morality at the door? This is precisely what Russel falls victim to, even before we saw the banker's note, of how Russel had aimed his stunt at hardworking individuals who, believe it or not, may not have been as blinded by rage as himself. Since when do we generalise? You have a neighbour who works in a bank, you were behind one in Gregg's and in front of one in KFC. Such a swerve away from such dangerous generalisations were exactly what seperated us from terrorists, Nazis and the like. Our whole Kingdom is about tolerance, diversity, debate, passion, love, morality. Well, at least that is what I am feeling its foundations should have been, and believe still could be. Believe you me, I have also seen this government's corruption and abuse. That is precisely why I have come to grow such strong views and visions. Touching darkness, one can become the very thing that they seek to destroy.

Stop.

Therein lies the clue. Fighting. Fighting is futile. We have become warriors, darn us. Through our trials, our death and destruction, our life and suffering, our mental illness and cancer, our deceit and betrayal, our loss and faithless spirits. We have come through so many things and the desire to fight is most natural. How can we live without resisting? It would be scary to imagine me never finding a reason to live, a desire to push back mental illnesses. It would be heartbreaking to see people told that they have cancer, and watch as they shrug their shoulders and exit the hospital, dreamlike it would seem. Dreamlike. No. It is not our sttyle. Be it by choice or genes, or both, who wants to be stuck with something? Even me, completely btoken and devoid of hope, came to enjoy life a bit, five or so years later, the progress is still slow, but progress nonetheless: someday I may experience happiness again. Why? Why would I look forward to such an...unknown? Is that not meaningless? Or meaningful desperation? We do it because it is not natural to suffer. I know, I know. This might sound like some easy mother nature summary, and if you believe in that then do so without fear, but it is not what I do. It is tied to one of my core philosophies. That everyone is, or was, at one point, moral. It is an observation been made by other yes, but to me it is highly relevant because I had a eureka moment upom realising how true and undeniable it was to my green eyes. It is our foundation. All start moral and clear, wanting to live and full of health (Mentally.)

Other philosophers may have put it in fancier wording, (I never got around to finishing this. I still can but will post as is, for now.

Hey. So, as some of you know, I have suffered with severe depression, OCD, GAD, and other MI's, since early childhood. In the last five years my depression has been less apparent, with even some rare days where it seemed non-existent. This month has been...tiring. In the last week, in particular, I have been feeling horrible. I thought it was a side effect of medication prescribed to help with anxiety but I am worried it is not that and that I am indeed to collapsing all over again. I have had moments like that, over the last few years, since leaving hospital, but I managed to come through them. But there are so many unresolved issues in my life...it can get very overwhelming. I suffer badly from loneliness, caused by being lonely through most of my childhood, with no real friends anywhere, until my mid/late teens. It spurred me into writing a few poems, so I thought I would share one of them here. I have also written a slightly different version, this is the original one.


I sometimes wonder if I am just a face
If I could disappear without a trace
Would my friends miss me?
Would they even remember he?
Did I ever make them smile?
Was it short or for a while?
I love them so dear
But what I really fear
Is losing them all
And having to fall
Back into darkness: my foe.
That all too familiar woe
Will such evil ever end?
Can my heart begin to mend?
I thought depression was the biggest pain
But it almost seems love can do the same
I long for the fellowship, the old crew
I know we've aged but I can't believe we're through
Is this it? Have we gone our seperate ways?
Linked by Facebook for many, many days
Yet rarely visit face-face
Can we really lose something of such grace?
Does only my heart yearn?
Or are others yet to learn?
Of just what we had, our great team
Nothing else compares, it would seem
Such pure love, such amazing grace
We truly lived in an amazing place
Even though we dwelled in a hellish zone
And you may say had every right to moan
We took each other's hands and banded together
Was it really only me who thought it'd be forever?

Is anyone else going through a tough time of late? Oh, and if you want to know what anything in the poem refers to, I can explain. Well, we must soldier on. Remember, keep faith in: Friends, morality, love.

Barry

As we are

BREAKING NEWS!!

Giovanni, Kanto's most wanted criminal, has kidnapped Professor Oak. Police in utter disarray. Is there any hope? We interviewed Chief Constable Jenny Jenny of the Unova region, for her view.

"Why is Giovanni allowed to slip away so easily? Is it inconceivable that the continued resistance toward implementing international arrest warrants is, at least, partly to blame?"

"No! Remember, Giovanni is entering regions illegally. We confiscated his passport over ten years ago. We always work closely with our Kanto counterparts but we are simply understaffed."

"I was told that James and Jessie, well known associates of his, were filmed casually entering a fast food resturant in Unova, only last weekend. Can you confirm?"

"You mean Jessie and James?"

"That is what I said."

"I can not speculate on rumours."

"We have photographic evidence..."

"Giovanni claims to have photographic evidence of the Mew creature, does that mean that it really exists? Of course not.

"Your logic is slightly flawed there...but moving along...will Giovanni EVER be apprehended? What with him now having influence worldwide?"

"Yes. Kanto and Unova recently upgraded their PC systems. While this was initially publicised as being a major upgrade designed to allow hard working trainers the convenience of being able to carry eight Pokemon at a time, we also took the oppurtunity to increase security procedures which we could not publicly reveal at the time. Every PC in the Kanto, Unova and Sinnoh region now has facial recognition technology. If Giovanni attempts to use a PC- we have him!"

"But surely this technological upgrade was pointless, particularly at a time of budgetary constraints. Money spent on such technology could have been spent on increasing personnel counts. Giovanni is a criminal, no doubt having many smaller gangs operating for him. Money is no issue. He no doubt has the technology, perhaps even skills, to build his own systems."

"The point you raise is valid. But imagine if he DID use a public computer and we did not have basic security procedures in place. The public want to know that their money is spent well...particularly with the general election being this year."

"Ah, yes. Turn to that as we must. Are you in favour of, or against Unova remaining a member of the EU: Enveloping unions scheme."

"It's a political question...I shall not answer..."

Jenny Jenny, ladies and gentlemen. A pretty face hiding an ugly truth: we simply can not cope with Giovanni's intensity of operations.

More next week. Plus: Oak's relatives launch emotional plea for lenience. Gary Oak says: "Please let my gramps go! He is an idiot, really! He thinks Gamecube is a type of sushi. He can't tell you anything." And Joy Joy reveals why more and more Pokemon are being abandoned.

By Barry Stuart.

www.todaysgamer.co.uk

(Just a quick script that came into my head.)