A queen soaring to new heights (How do you like that Barry! Re-using a title from before! Oh wait...I'm Barry...)

I was on hotmail news today A.K.A. msn news (which will soon be no longer when MSN retires next year, you all know that right? Unless they merge the news section into Skype which is what I predict) after signing into my business email accounts (as Microhard threatens they may be deleted if I dont keep signing in and I really don't want to give them an excuse! So I sign in to my less used email addresses once a month or so, as oppose to my personal one which I am signed in permanently (also a good preventive measure against spyware and keyloggers and hackers etc :P). I took a look at some news and they had one about a reptilian ali- I mean women sometimes dubbed "Queen of England" (apparently she won strictly come dancing or something...) who has made history by being the first ali- er Monarch, I think it was, to sit in on a Cabinet meeting. If you go to MSN you can see the image of her sandwiched between William Hagues unnaturally shiny head and David Cameron's unnaturally shiny ego. But what I found just as interesting was when I clicked to another picture on the slide show, apparently she was the first Monarch (and one of the first people overall surely) to send an email back in 1976, when she visited an Army base as you can see for yourself if you look at the picture to check I'm not making it up. Well I could of doctored the text easily in Paint...oh I don't help myself do I but navigate to the URL and you will see I am telling you the truth...but that doesn't finish it though does it? No. We want to know what the email she sent was do we not? Well I paid some politici- er... I had tea with David Cameron this morning......and coincidentally today I received in my inbox, a copy of her email. (Under the picture)  

A early email sent in 1976 from Queen Elizabeth's visit to an army base and the first Monarch to send an email-

To: Charles Philip Arthur George (He obviously never heard of Surnames!)

" Charles get your arse here now! Camilla's trying to poison me with her cooking again and Philips trying to extract his foot from someone's mouth. How he got it there one does not like to think about but one can only imagine one must of had a mouth as equally as big as ones foot. Well Philip does like to put his foot in it. Now stop stroking your plants and get over here! I don't know how much more I can stand of Camilla's "All you can eat buffet...with a hunger surprise!"

P.S. Your shirt is undone.

P.S.P.S. You are like the son I never had. What I mean is...I wish you were the son I never had!

P.S.P.S.P.S. I'm sorry I never meant it! Sorry..the stress of doing nothing is really taking it's toll on me...so much work. I need a break. Tax payer funded holiday in Greece? See you there right? I'll get the Corgi's quarantined."
________________________


Well..that was insightful...and rude! Cor!.... Any how thanks for reading.. Stay tuned for more random stuff. (One must wonder...how would Charles receive the email without a computer? How would he of seen the email without an email account as he couldn't of had one as she was the first Monarch to send an email..unless Charles had an email account and just never used it to send emails before.) Why am I still writing so seriously as if this is all true when you all know I made that email up (the content, the story is true) ? All will never be revealed in next weeks episode.

Next Week: Read Prince Charles's angry response in full!

Extract;

"Dear mother.... I never realised you would sound so boring in an email! But you did write it after all! I would come home but my Daisies are currently procreating and I must not miss this exciting chapter in the facts of life. I nearly found out what it was all about last week when Coronation street came on but it ended before the exciting stuff happened. Someone keeps telling me flowers breed differently to humans but I'm not fooling for that! They don't call me Charles Xavier for nothing! I've got my biggest magnifying glass out so I don't miss a thing! (And neither will you miss a thing I said with the amount of exclamation marks I've been using!) ..." (Full email coming next week)


If you want to read up more about M.R. Stroke my chrysanthemum's and butter my crumpets while I secretly play Xbox 360 with Alan Sugar at the back of his board room, please check out the Wikipedia link which shall surely back up everything I said as it is such a reliable source. Now enough humour for today. Have a nice day :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles,_Prince_of_Wales


Please note, no offence is meant with any jokes and whether it seems it or not care is taken to not offend.

If you would like to complain, please email me or write to Gordon Brown's complaint center, who has been dealing with my complaints since his exile in 2010.

Beyblade-soaring to new heights

Well I want to thank everyone who has watched my videos first of all. When I made my Transformers Prime Intro video, it was my highest video ever by views! It soared from 100-200-300..etc.. you have all been so great, thank you! Before long it exceeded 300 which is really amazing...but then suddenly something happened. My video game review of Beyblade V-force that I had uploaded a month before this video, suddenly received a surge in views! It's really strange. I added no new tags or anything as far as I can remember, I guess a lot of people have been searching for Beyblade and it shows it is really popular. So thankyou, here is the link-

http://youtu.be/GlDrr7nDW8k

My Transformers video is resting on 380 views now, which is brilliant and my Beyblade video from my video game review series (I am currently working on a new series!) has settled on 502! At first it was a gradual difference but as you can see by those two figures...my Beyblade video went from having less views than Transformers to gaining a sudden surge and closing a gap slightly then to closing the gap dramatically then suddenly overtaking dramatically! Any amount of views is great and I am pleased all my videos have had views, I found it really interesting though this mystery of a surge of views I still can't work out myself. 

Well the last video I uploaded was a day or two ago, a Christmas video for my online shop (www.our-realm.co.uk) with loads of competitions and fun and games, and I plan to have some more uploaded soon. Please checkout my channel: BarryVP12 if you want and you can let me know how my views are doing as well! :) Do you want to share your Youtube channel? Please comment below.

Thank you for reading.

Barry

I was annoyed to read in the Daily Mail today that the Election T.V. debates are "unlikely to be repeated" according to the Daily Mail, (so most certainly will return that actually means) I liked them to be honest.. According to the Daily Mail though, David Cameron said;

"My reflection on last time was that they did suck all the life out of the campaign",

Top Psychologist Barry Stuart translates into English....

"I really got my arse kicked last year. That was so embarrassing I never got the hang of the whole thing... even Gordon got more points than me.. I am never doing that again. Not even if you give me more botox for my birthday."

(It is currently unconfirmed whether the last sentence was made up by Barry or not, as it does fit his style. Then again he is writing this whole thing..so we may never know the truth.. What a cover up.... How dare you says Barry, now talking to himself. I never worked for the BBC...)

Now why do Tesco stock Cliff Richard's 2012 Calendar but not Avril Lavigne's? Donny Osmond also yields no Calendar results. I bet that isn't even Cliff's chest he keeps showing off, his head looks like it was photoshopped on does it not? No-one has seen Cliff for years in public after all, he and Gordon Brown emigrated to France shortly after the 2010 general election with Gordons family following behind. And before you say, "I bet you are some jealous 70 year old", I am 20 years old (not that it matters) and happy with my chest. I regularly smother baby oil along with assorted vegetables onto my stomach and then re-use them for that days dinner. But why the fascination with Cliff? Do people really buy his Calendar to stare at his chest once a month and wish they had the same? It's been ages since I've heard him sing, I was actually shocked when somebody told me if you listen to the Eastenders theme tune carefully you can hear Cliff (Or Harry webber as he is known in fan-fiction circles..or was it Reg Dwight?) wailing along to the music, that's how long it's been since I heard his voice.

But anyway. You all are wondering what the purpose of this post was and as soon as I figure it out I will let you know, right after Cliff figures out his real name and why he denied my request to cover Mistletoe and Wine at Prince Harry and Kate's wedding. I mean Prince Harry and William. I mean Prince Kate and William. Princess Kate and Prince William I mean. Do I? But we all know the real purpose. Yes it's that time of year again where I must climb out of the cupboard and plug my latest Calendar (sound familiar) so I don't have to draw out my pension. Oh sorry. I found a interview with Cliff Richard and started reading out his confession. But I do have a new calendar out. It is called Eevee and Barry-Time well spent. Available at all good bookshops. So yes. It's unfortunately not available in Britain......

Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light completely unrelated to what I'm talking about so we will now move on and forget about it. Or should it be forget about it and move on? Well don't ask Nick Griffin. He doesn't know much about either.