First post of 2013!

Well I have a lot of things to finish online still, Transformers blog story, videos to make, pen-pals to catch up with...and more.. I'm also writing a lot more of my novels, my main one is coming along nicely :P I've been looking at some various publishing innovations too such as Harper Collins website have a website setup to share stories, something like "authonomy.com."  But I just wanted to start by informing you that occasionally Aliens (Singular David Icke) edit my blog so it appears there are spelling mistakes. If you notice any please get in touch in the aforementioned ways which I have not mentioned anywhere recently but you can find if you trawl through my blog which would be an extremely odd thing to do considering no-one reads my blog. The last person to read my blog was King Arthur and all he ever talked about was me interviewing him about a sword... sad man..... He just disappeared one day.

You may of noticed some continuity errors concerning King Arthur's timeline and the invention of modern computers. If this was a game show you would get a prize. Instead you can get a life. No I hope that did not sound rude! I am often misunderstood (When ever I go to Australia and ask for chips they hand me a packet of crisps!..oh well at least Australians are attractive.. some anyway..). Rude Tuesdays are not until...well Tuesday... So today I shall be calm, compassionate and everything else Tony Blair wishes his wife was. Although she is a good cook I hear. She knows how to get the best food. Everyday at 5 PM she rings her local Pizza-delivery-service-does-this-line-of-business-even-have-a-name-I-don't-know-can-you-stop-with-the-hyphens-now-no-sorry-it's-what-you-do-when-you-connect-words and orders 3 pizzas for her and the children to share and even buys a bone for Tony to gnaw on, as oppose to Gordon's head. While this all goes on at the Blair's dinner time, with Tony mining for WMD's in his back garden with a metal detector straight after dinner, Eastenders is playing on T.V. which is as almost as incredible as William Hague's baby oil induced head, seeing as Eastenders is on at 7:30PM at the earliest, due to excessive swearing and violent scenes such as Ian Beale threatening to break the fourth wall and Sharon threatening to leave and return for the millionth time (Rumour has it the first time she arrived it was on a Pterodactyl!) "This isn't a revolving door you know" Phill Mitchell once said to her, before Grant swaggered in and said, "OI listen up Dairylea triangles of Walford! I'm gonna be stepping on some toes soon an-" (at that moment he spotted Sharon) "OI! Change your knickers Grant! Then change your life! Then change yo-...oh ..you can't really trump that can you....who wrote these silly scripts..." (Things started to get tough so Grant got out of there and headed back to base, thanks Dead Ringers :P). But Eastenders can be realistic you know. Then it starts. The outdated map and theme tune that's played in 62% of Britain's Prisons, casting a realistic look at life in the East end of London and how the BBC has made sure anyone over 30 will run from a teenager at the first sign of them opening their mouth or even making a tiny move that even slightly suggests they may be heading in their direction, The river that is now dried up is the most accurate part on the map, a complete contrast to the actual episodes which involved (Derek Branning is now dead having been poisoned by Ian Beale who realized he was the witch from Snow White and the seven Dwarfs in another life, "Come here my son....come and have an apple from my stall....this one was grown with locally sourced manure.." What? Come on, you preferred the real ending? Exactly.) Derek Branning flinging his underwear at anyone who opened their mouth to take a sip from their drink when he was looking in their direction, while Kat Butcher Slater Anderson Chaplin Weak Character your shirts undone sir let me tuck it in for you Mitchell boring storyline moon drivel Branning, flung herself at every man who was married and tipped beer down those who weren't so she could later give piggybacks to Tracy so she would stop licking Patricks face, although I personally do not see how spilling alcohol helps in giving piggybacks and how not doing so prevents a barrier but this is Eastenders though. Now onwards and upwards. I've spent to much time wasted on Eastenders. Sorry, why do I keep reading out random interviews from Shane Richie? This blog post was originally about cunningly explaining spelling mistakes in my blog and now it consists of more words than a bible! (We can not confirm nor deny this due to an ongoing court case with Archangel Michael, although what he has to do with writing the books of the bibles beats me, all he did was sink Atlantis) If you were offended by anything here I am sorry, I did not mean to. My job in life is to teach, and marry Keira Knightly. One of those things is slightly tricky now, given a recent engagement for a wedding I was not invited to.... (darn you Gordon Brown..somehow forwarding the invitation to your own address and locking me up in my cellar on the eve of the wedding...which is really odd considering you had destroyed all knowledge I would of potentially possessed of the wedding so why you felt you needed to go further is beyond me.....I'm just glad there's still gold in my room...I mean why wouldn't there be after you were in the ro- ......wait a sec..... Gordon... -_- ..) but I am happy.. I am going to stroke our dog now who doesn't exist. Then I will day dream about Jennifer Aniston finally leaving me alone! What is with that woman...she is obsessed...just because I told her a random number and it helped her win the lottery one day..now she thinks she has stalker privileges despite her not even following me on Twitter.

Well it was fun talking. Typing. Writing. Take your pick just don't use them all at once. Sony have more or less said Playstation 4 will not allow second hand games so the video game industry is finished. So yes, to many people... life itself is finished. As dramatic as always ;) That's why you read my blog right?

As the wise politician Goku once said at the final episode of Dragonball Z;

"until next time"

Goodbye.




Written by BarryVP using a Keyboard, a Laptop, a touch pad, a internet browser, a broadband connection, a brain, two hands and Ruperts memoirs, soon to feature in BarryVP's yet to be published but somehow best selling new novel starring.... John Prescott.... as nobody because he's not in it. and BarryVP as Barry VP II (2nd)

Stay tuned.