(Remember, this blog is sometimes spoof sometimes serious, today is spoof and my jokes aren't necessarily aimed at beliefs, sometimes they may be but quite often the joke isn't something I really think is true.)

So how has everyone been recently? Been a lot more scandal recently and for once not Rupert Murdoch's doing

I met Rupert Murdoch in a pub once. I was talking to him about scandal, here is how events unfolded.

Rupert: Look don't talk to me about scandal "Bazza", "BarryVP" "BarryVP12" or "Barry" whatever you call yourself today, you've done your fair share of scandals.

Barry: (cough news of the world cough) I have nothing more to say except thanks for reading out my old nickname, reading out my new nickname, plugging my Youtube channel name, and stating my first name. Good to do business with you.

Rupert: I hear you go under the name M.R. X on one website?

Barry: Well....that's a time traveler version of me..long story..but basically..you know John Titor? I wanted to reviv-

At that moment the pub doors burst open and William Hague came bounding in. His almost bald head gleaming with sunlight which was an incredible feat considering the pub windows were bordered up, light saber in one hand, conservative manifesto in the other, torn, chewed around the edges and missing a few pages, but enough about William Hague, now for the manifesto. Empty as you would expect.

(rest coming later, just eating dinner :P)

William Hague took one long sweep around the room, tongue wagging like a dogs tail as if it had just discovered the nicest treat ever, his big bold eyes searching for someone before eventually settling on a figure in the corner that had now stood up. In one swift movement Tony Blair wielded his sword and  charged at William who side stepped at the last possible second. Tony lunged again which William countered with his knee, something no other human could do, deflecting sword with flesh and bone. Tony tried to strike again and shouted he would try for 10 years if he had to but William replied saying you'll never last 10 years. No-one would put up with you for that long... (for some reason at that moment I coughed again....) Then the doors burst open which was another amazing feat when taking into account that no-one closed them from the first time around. A wild, dangerous creature entered the room. A new enemy had been spotted and William knew he had to work with Tony in order to take down this foe. "Brown" it kept shouting as if it was a Pokemon.

Tony: I'll take care of him, leave it to me.

William: No. Fall back Blair, he is way too powerful!

Tony (ignoring the stolen quote from Transformers Prime along with the reference of teaming up to defeat an enemy even though Hasbro can not claim credit for that, as much as they would like to along with the words "Transformers" and "Prime", Take note Asus) charged at William to prove who was really fit to lead but before his sword could strike at William along with what remained of his dignity (seeing as for reasons beyond me or anyone else present even William, he was suddenly completely naked) the mysterious creature appeared in front of Tony. Feet wide apart much like his stance on many other things. Did that make sense? Ask John Prescott he must be making an appearance soon surely. He walked up to Tony with obvious determination although what he wanted at this point was unknown and William Hague was too busy finding his clothes to really care. After taking one last look around the room he suddenly stared straight at Tony and after a few minutes of waiting, bellowed;

"When is it going to be my turn?"

There was a tremendous roar of laughter, from the left, from the right, from everywhere, this sort of laughter was unseen coming from different directions.

(To gain a full understanding of the humour of this video, as each person will read it different and you can't hear me saying it, although I could record me doing so, you need to imagine it being read by William Hague, also on a particular Youtube video where he mentions Gordon Brown and Tony Blair bidding to become president of Europe, which was a bit of inspiration for my thoughts)