Hey. So, as some of you know, I have suffered with severe depression, OCD, GAD, and other MI's, since early childhood. In the last five years my depression has been less apparent, with even some rare days where it seemed non-existent. This month has been...tiring. In the last week, in particular, I have been feeling horrible. I thought it was a side effect of medication prescribed to help with anxiety but I am worried it is not that and that I am indeed to collapsing all over again. I have had moments like that, over the last few years, since leaving hospital, but I managed to come through them. But there are so many unresolved issues in my life...it can get very overwhelming. I suffer badly from loneliness, caused by being lonely through most of my childhood, with no real friends anywhere, until my mid/late teens. It spurred me into writing a few poems, so I thought I would share one of them here. I have also written a slightly different version, this is the original one.


I sometimes wonder if I am just a face
If I could disappear without a trace
Would my friends miss me?
Would they even remember he?
Did I ever make them smile?
Was it short or for a while?
I love them so dear
But what I really fear
Is losing them all
And having to fall
Back into darkness: my foe.
That all too familiar woe
Will such evil ever end?
Can my heart begin to mend?
I thought depression was the biggest pain
But it almost seems love can do the same
I long for the fellowship, the old crew
I know we've aged but I can't believe we're through
Is this it? Have we gone our seperate ways?
Linked by Facebook for many, many days
Yet rarely visit face-face
Can we really lose something of such grace?
Does only my heart yearn?
Or are others yet to learn?
Of just what we had, our great team
Nothing else compares, it would seem
Such pure love, such amazing grace
We truly lived in an amazing place
Even though we dwelled in a hellish zone
And you may say had every right to moan
We took each other's hands and banded together
Was it really only me who thought it'd be forever?

Is anyone else going through a tough time of late? Oh, and if you want to know what anything in the poem refers to, I can explain. Well, we must soldier on. Remember, keep faith in: Friends, morality, love.

Barry