Cybertron News-Decadely (Once a decade except special editions) 20 Pence. (Or 55 spare body parts)

Special edition!

Front page headlines!

Megatron-ton-ton has been apprehended! READ A EXCLUSIVE NANO SECOND BY NANO SECOND (Trust us, it is even more boring than it sounds) CAPTURE BY LIEUTENANT ULTRA MAGNUS.  "At one moment...yeah I was a bit scared. But I followed protocol and that is why we got the outcome we did. Er no.. I do not take autographs sorry... Oh you are asking if I want yours? Get lost Bumblebee."

Also- Ultra Magnus continues his famous "I I I I I" debate. In 2011 he had got up to "I." Now who knows where he is up to! Well we do. Read on to find out!

Unfortunately due to the scandal arisen from Megatron-ton-ton's after dark activities and his eventual arrest as a result of this, he is no longer able to model for our Page 3 and given the short notice we had we were unable to find a replacement. If you would like to model, please head on over to Twitter to speak to our accounts manager @barryvp.

Last decade's winner of Hasbro's new "Fruity Energon" life time supply award was the entity by the username of "SeductiveArcee1985."

Meet our unaffiliated affiliates! This website has nothing to do with us but mentions us! Wow Cybertronians. People mention our dead planet! So this is how England feels! -Cough cough- http://www.tfw2005.com/

If you have a story for us, please approach your local Cybetron warp point if you live on a United Earthern Nation Alliance planet and ask to speak to Grimrod. I mean Grimlock. Otherwise, once again contacting @barryvp is the alternative. We may pay you but we may not. If you have scandal for us we shall definitely pay you.

Updated list of all entities and life forms that are banned from having any kind of pets in any number;

Megatron (All incarnations). Sonic the hedgehogger. Mario. Irene. Anyone owning a Playstation 4. Piccolo.


Still no real puzzles! The only newspaper with real continuity!

Legal disclaimer- If you would like to sue due to a headache induced by the pain resulting from the many ocnfusing continuities suggested here (E.G. The mention of Hasbro despite them being the creators (Half creators) of Transformers or from frustration at working out whether any of these competitions were ever real, please message @barryvp or @Starscream2012 who will be more than happy to add to your confusion! Thankyou.

Please note. We have had to double the cost of this newspaper due to being sued by News Of The World for us printing real news which put them to shame. Ahem.

*"After dark activities was a joke, given one could say it implies brightness as after dark light appears once again. While I was not planning on really having models for my magazine spoof features, if you are interested in modelling and if I deem it suitable, I may be able to work something out in a funny or serious post depending on what you are after. Thankyou for reading.

*Obviously this was random and if any jokes sounded rude or something else it was not meant to, if it sounds like a joke implies something else it is coincidental, I rarely make jokes based on logic or my actual beliefs but based on random thoughts. While it was written in a comical manner, if you would like to really send me/make up stories or change real stories into a comical manner or leave how they are and let me transform them (Appropriate wording) then please do. They do not even have to be Transformers themed, I can work with anything.

Barry. Promoter of "And" at the beginning of certain sentences and "Thankyou" written as one word.
I did it. Did civilisations collapse? No. But I hear them sounding their horns of frustration.

Let them come.


(Barry, Greek philosopher. Allegeddly)