New Gaming News

(Spoof) (as in not real)

Great news! Sega unveil their new console. Yes their back at last. Now, great hits such as Pokemon and Dragonball z will have a decent console to appear on! Oh...who said that.. But what's more, gaming legend Atari are unveiling plans for their brand spanking new console faster then I was unveiling....Oh yeah..sorry..erm anyway. Atari's new console looks exactly like all their other stuff...but that's good, that's what we want!! Take note, Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo. While Atari are unsure what kind of games will appear on their console and wether they're decent, Sega have confirmed a whole Catalogue of...........yes you guessed it...Sonic games. Every single one of their previous Solely developed by them Sonic games will be ported plus some new additions. Sega's new console, Sega "DreamStar" also has internet access. But it gets better...oh yes it does. Without even using an internet connection, the DreamStar has a built in dictionary plus a built in "thingy" (we don't know what to call it) where you can type in any word, question, phrase and the DreamStar... amazingly....will answer it! We spent hours and hours trying to outsmart it but no matter what we typed it always came back with an answer, and not just an answer but a decent answer. Not like silly jeeves on askjeevees what colour my wig is, who only gives you links to other sites. But this much better version is offline and is the result of Sega working tirelessly thinking of things people would and wouldn't type and posting an answer. Now for the Sauce on your apple pie...Sega said they will also begin development on a handheld console. :) :) Yipee! Plus the DreamStar comes built in with Sonic 1,2,3 and Sonic Adventure 1 and 2 plus a mini game also comes preloaded where Bill gates shakes his Tic Tacs at you.. They said it...NOT me.

Pricing, well yes.. The DreamStar will cost £200 exactly and The Atari console we don't care about but we pretend we will, will cost...who knows... (Ok, the Atari console we DO care about, but considerably less in comparison to the magnificent comeback of SEGAAAAA!) (When you turn the console on, you hear the classic "SEEEEGAAAA", that's how you know their back...and here to stay!)

A spokesman for Sega called I whipmyhairbackandforthSatoshiBarryalaska said, "It is an honour to be able to have our own console again and not be in the clutches.. I mean service of the tyran..er companies Bintendo and Microhard... (Now that's just plain rude!)

Watch this space


(If you want to of course, don't feel pressured to comeback to my site everyday, obviously you will do..but still)

Yours not at all sincerely,

Barry-I'm-not-sure-why-I'm-signing-off-like-I-wrote-a-letter-when-I-wrote-a-blog-Stuart

:)